Changing Gears

The impulse kicks in. For a second, my mind flashes to a memory. I see my dad, eye level, and in a moment, my father’s hand hits me, fair and square in the eye. Reality comes back. I am waiting. The clock ticks from 12:02 to 12:03. Caitlin, who is probably just getting out of class, is still not in the car. And I don’t like that. Something about being late..it got to my father, and now it gets to me.

I sit in the car, and wait for another 3 minutes, still no sign of Caitlin. Just as I am ready to change gears, and drive away, the handle clicks, and the door opens.

Scrambling in the door, Caitlin starts to ramble on, “Hey, I’m so sorry, Mrs. Johnson wanted to talk to me after class, and I told her I had to go, I really did, but she said –“

“Enough. I’ve heard it all before.”

“Rogerson, I know you’re mad, but I tried. I really did! I got out of this place as fast as I could,” Caitlin pleaded, as she knew what was coming.

“Wasn’t fast enough,” I murmured under my breath.

The drive to lunch was silent, in the most awkward of way. I was upset, and she knew it. I was right, and she knew it, too.

Twenty minutes past, when she finally decided to open her mouth.

“I’m still sorry,” she said, looking at me with those big eyes, pleading for some romance scene. For some reason, this hope, this happiness, this joke in her eye, it got me frustrated. I turned back towards the wheel, now parked in a parking lot. From the corner of my eye, I still could see her. Just as she was about to speak, something came in me. My second nature. I leaned in real close, and punched her. Harder than ever before.

As she sat there crying, I sat there driving. Maybe I should feel bad about what I did, maybe I should feel like such a horrible person, but I don’t. If anything, I think I let her get away easy…this time.

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Dreamland is a book that shows abuse in a relationship. The whole story is told in the point of view of Caitlin, the girl who is being abused. It is great, we get to see how she feels, how she takes the pain. We get to see the struggles it puts on her life.

Then there’s Rogerson. All we know about him is he hits Caitlin. If the book was told in his point of view, rather than hers, we would see so much more depth to the story. We would see why he hits her, what it does to him. We would see his thoughts in the moment, not just hers.

Having the story be told in the point of view of Caitlin, automatically makes us think that she is the angel, and Rogerson is the devil. If the story was told differently, there would be a whole different vibe, a whole different setup, a whole different story.