Death

We all are born. We all live. We all die.  Life is as simple as that.  There's problems we all have and fears we need to face. We always say that no one knows the pain we're going through, when in all actuality we're more alike than we're credited to be.  No matter what happens in between, at the end of the day, we'll all leave this earth the same way.

Suicide. Heart attack. Health Problems. Murder. Old age. Fatal accident. Overdose.   What do these things have in common? Death.  I guarantee you that one of those will be you're destiny.  No, I don't tell the future, I just know how it ends.  I know that your life will end in death. You will die. It will happen. Sorry to say, but you're not going to live forever.  No matter what we do, what we say, what happens on our time on earth, we're all going to leave the same way.

Can we Trust?

Author's Note: Theme is an important thing to find in a book.. When I was reading "Speak" I couldn't help but realize this theme. **Spoilers Alert: I do mention things that happen in the book, that would spoil it.**

People are like rubber bands. They seem perfect. They help put things in place, they hold them there,  and they fix problems that were previously there. They can be stretched out, and tightened. But there  comes a point, after it's been pulled out too far, that it breaks. It's not helpful to you anymore. It  betrayed you.  Much like a snapped rubber band, about half of the people in your life right now, won't be there in five years. You never know, they could be gone tomorrow.  For Melinda, from the book Speak, this was the case. But it just wasn't friends; it was boy friends and even family. No matter how hard she tried, Melinda ended up losing the people she cared about most in her life, all to trust issues.

They had hundreds of pictures together. They had thousands of matching items.  They had millions of memories.  Melinda and Rachel were the stereotypical best friends.  They could tell each other anything, yet when Melinda tells Rachel that she was the one that called the cops on a party with minors drinking alcohol,  Rachel leaves her.  She says...nothing. She just leaves.  Melinda had to tell somebody, and she trusted Rachel, but Rachel just left her.  She put her words on the line, and they were left there. 

Aside from her "ex- best friend" leaving her, her saving grace did also.  Heather.  Everyone deserves a second chance.  We all deserve a friend, so when a new girl moves in, she tries to be friends with Melinda.  It was perfect.  She was the prince charming riding in on her horse to make everything okay. Melinda trusted her to be there for her.  She needed a friend, someone to talk to.  Then, for no reason, Heather doesn’t want to be friends. She says that Melinda was the most depressed person ever, and didn't want to be friends. She was trusted, but failed to follow through.

Not only did Rachel and Heather fail to stay in Melinda's life after being trusted, so did IT. Andy Evans.  One summer night, when Melinda was heavily drinking, Andy was there for her.  He told her that he would take hr outside and get some fresh air. The things he did to her were heartbreaking.  Melinda -- maybe not being completely there..but still had consciousness -- trusted him.  He took advantage of her, and then left.

Trust. It's something that we all do.  We trust others with secrets and lies, with stories, and with goodbyes.  Whenever we put trust on an issue, we know that there's a chance that we will be played, or blind-sided. That the people will leave. Sometimes, even when you least expect it, the rubber band snaps, and people that we trust disappoint us.

Mirror

 Author's Note: I wrote this piece a long time ago, and recently found it. I'm not sure what to do with it though, turn it into a story? Essay? Just keep it like this? As always, question, comments, and feedback would be highly appreciated.

 Mirror.  According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary,  a mirror is a polished or smooth surface (as of glass) that forms images by reflection, something that gives a true representation, or an exemplary model. But a mirror is so much more than an object.  It's a vision. It's what we see looking back at us, what we see ourselves as.  We don't just see physical aspects, we see emotional ones. We see who we really are. Not a face hidden by a mask, not a life covered in lies; we see the truth.  A mirror tells no lies.  It shows the pain, the sadness, the secrets.  It shows the real us.  A mirror just reflects what it sees, it tells us the painful truth that no one else can.

You.

I- Me.

Love- Great compassion, feeling, or trust toward someone. 

You- The best thing that has ever happened to me.

I love you.

The way you talk, the way you walk, the way you present yourself.  How you make everything okay when you're there.  How you can talk to me when I'm at my lowest, then make me smile forever.  I love how you show the best of me.  I like myself when I'm around you. You fill me up.  You break me down.  I hate myself when were together.  You  bring out the worst in me.  You talk to me when I finally realize things are going right, and make them wrong again.  Everything's better when you're gone.  The way you lie, the way you cry, the way you present yourself.

I hate you.

I- Me.

Hate- Great anger, frustration, and annoyance toward someone.

You- The worst thing that has ever happened to me.

When I grow up...

When I grow up I want to be…

A firefighter,

A superstar,

Someone on TV.

I want to dance,

I want to fly to space,

I want to sail the world,

At my own pace.

Run the country,

Get a degree,

Flee the country,

Just you and me.

When I grow up,

I want to be,

Anything I want to be.

I'll follow my heart ,

And won't  stop -- at any amount,

You only live once,

So make it count!

Speak

"I wish Mr. Freeman would put a tree in his masterpiece.  I can't figure out how to make mine look real. I have already ruined six linoleum blocks. I can see it in my head: a strong old oak tree with a wide scarred trunk and thousands of leaves reaching to the sun. There's a tree in front of my house just like it. I can feel the wind blow and hear the mocking bird whistling on the way back to her nest.  But when I try to carve it, it looks like a dead tree, toothpicks, a child's drawing. I can't bring it to life. I'd love to give it up. Quit.  But I can't think of anything else to do, so I keep chipping away at it."

-page 78, Speak

This is intense.  This scene is about Melinda drawing a tree, right? It's about trying to draw this tree, but wanting to give up, but nothing the less, she keeps trying. When I read this, I don't think this is about a tree.  I think this is about her life. I think she is giving us a peek inside, and sharing her feelings with us. Telling us that she is just 'chipping away' at her life.  In earlier scenes, we see that at her house she is a completely different person.  She laughs, and smiles, and follows the rules.  But the second that she leaves, she becomes her again. This scene means a lot more than a tree, it means her life.

Predictable Ending

Author’s Note: I am making a prediction for the ending of the book Speak.

A depressed teenager’s story, that takes you through her high school experience, can never really end well. Maybe it’s death or maybe it’s that she never gets better, and stays depressed forever, but they never get better. They’ll continue to tell their story, in hopes that things will change. Nothing the less, they don’t.  Since this is another story about a girl who has troubles in high school, I think that she will commit suicide in the end of the book.

As for Melinda in the book Speak she has struggles in her high school life. She is depressed, angry, and can't stand herself. I think that by the end of the book, she won't be able to cope with the pain anymore, and will end up committing suicide.  In a section of the book, we read about how she doesn’t recognize herself, she doesn't think that her mouth belongs to her. She's narrating the book, and constantly making comments like "Maybe I'll be an artist if I grow up."(pg. 78)  and "If a suicide attempt is a cry for help, then what is this? A whimper, a peep?" So the facts show, she obviously has thought about not living any longer.

This story is a tragedy.  So far it follows the plot line, with a character flaw.  Melinda's is that she can't forget.  She is scared with this memory of something that happened. Since this is a tragedy, I believe that Melinda will commit suicide, since the clues are there and that follows the plot line. She is always saying clues that seem as if she is thinking about suicide, and with the type of story that it is, that only makes sense.

Not just does the text and mode of literature show facts that there will be a suicide, a similar story also ends in a suicide.  The book Thirteen Reasons Why starts out with a girl who has troubles in high school also, and by the end of the book she killed herself.  She faces many of the same problems, feeling left out, struggling with her parents, and even not particularly liking herself. These books are a lot alike, so I also think that Melinda will kill herself.

Following Melinda's story, reading about her life, -- so far --  I predict that she will kill herself.  She'll let the drama of high school, and whatever else happened that one night take control of her life, ending it.

Hurt

Think back to when you were a kid, just age six or seven.  You probably have memories of playing at the  park, or riding in the car with your parents. Some children, however, have memories of their parents  physically abusing them.  Whether it's hitting them with a magazine, or kicking them in the face, their  parents hurt them.  For Lily in The Secret Life of Bees, a fictional novel, she was used to the more minor  pain from her dad T-Ray; however David from A Child Called It was abused with unimaginable things for  over 11 years by his mother Catherine. Whether it's a fiction novel, or accounts of real life events, all  abuse stories connect with each other.

What does a parent feel, as they are in the middle of punching their child in the arm? Do they feel  happy? Sad? Maybe they think that because they're the adult, they have the right to do this to their  kid…when in all actuality they don't.  Neither parent has a reason to abuse their  child.  They blame it on minor things, like they got a bad grade or didn't finish one of their chores.  A  normal parent would ground their child or talk to them about it, where T-Ray would make Lily kneel on  grits and Catherine would make David eat ammonia. They think that because their child makes a  mistake, it's okay to hurt them. They have no reason to hit their kids -- they just do. 

Besides having no reason to neglect their children, also, both parents ignore their children.  They act like  they never gave birth to them, like they never were part of the family, like they never were born.  T-Ray  acts as if he didn't have another family member, as if he were on his own.  He didn't ask if Lily ever  wanted to hang out with friends or go see a movie. He pretended that she wasn't there -- however she  was. As for Catherine, she was the same way.  She treated her other sons like royalty, bought them candy,  let them play with toys, took them to the park…all while David was in the basement.  She made him  sleep on a cot and wear the same clothes.  David was ignored in his house.  He wasn't treated right. Both  parents were unfair to their kids…if you could even call them parents.

Aside from abusing  their children, or ignoring them and not including them in the family, both parents  suffer with problems.  T-ray's wife was killed, and Catherine deals with alcohol. Not saying that these things potentially give the parents reasons to abuse, but they may believe that because they have pain -- others should feel it, too. Drinking and death aren't the same thing, but  they both cause pain…pain which needs to be let out, and these parents choose abusing their kids.

Both parents have no reason to hit, both parents ignore their abused kids, both parents have problems they're trying to cope with…but there is a difference.  One is real, and one if fake.  In the Secret Life of Bees, we read about a girl who gets abused, yeah it's sad, but we know it's not real.  We know it's just words on a page describing an action.  Where in A Child Called It, each page we turn holds real emotion, real experiences, real pain.  It's not so sad to think that T-Ray is an imaginary character.  He's like Cruella de Ville, Ursula, or even Captain Hook; all made up. Nothing they do really happens in the world.  However, Catherine is a real person.  She holds a real heart, a real soul, a real life. She is real.  Every time we read about a punch, she really laid a hand on her son.  Every time we read about Dave not eating, he was literally being starved.  Everything in that book is real, which has a huge impact on the emotion you feel while reading it.

When we were kids, we would all get upset about things that happened. It was the end of the world when we couldn't eat a snack, or play a game. Little problems consumed us, as we were ignorant to the larger ones there are.  Children everyday are being hurt by their parents.  The ones who are supposed to love them the most, the ones who are supposed to care about them, the ones who are supposed to protect them. Whether a real life story, or a fiction tale of one being abused, abuse is a serious problem.