Friday, December 2, 2011

Deserted.

It was late in the night, the air was cold and crisp, and the street was deserted. No one on either side of the road, no car cruising along the road, no lights on to lead the way... nothing.  He was safe from his fear of anyone seeing him.   He was safe from the question, the answer and the consequence.  There was nothing for him to worry about, until they came.  They walked out of an old abandoned building, barely being able to stand. They couldn’t walk in a straight line, they couldn’t speak without a slur, and they couldn’t possibly have been completely there that night.  He quickly crossed to the other side of the street, hoping they would not notice him. His body filled with fear, as they might see him. No one could know what he was doing, no one could witness what was about to happen.  He walked a little further, until he got to where he needed to be.  He looked down, and saw his destination.  He knew this was the right choice.  He climbed up, took off his jacket, and…jumped.

7 comments:

  1. Mysterious! I like how you interpreted the sentence into the story

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  2. You think that my story was "written to perfection," noooooooo... this was it. Wow, you really are an amazing writer and I like how creative this was. A quick question though-- why is the title deserted?

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  3. Okay, for anyone wondering why the title is deserted--here's the answer. On Friday I literally spent 30 minutes trying to figure out a title. Mrs. Reagles suggested "deserted", and since the hour was almost over, I just kept that title. I don't necessarily like it, so if you have any suggestions...LET ME KNOW :)!

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  4. I don't know I just think that it should be a one word title because it completes the effect that you are portraying.

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  5. I absolutely LOVE this piece! I understood exactly what the feeling and mood of the character was.It was so detailed.... and creepy. But I'm all about creepy stories! haha

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  6. This is super duper sad! But written very well! Good job![:

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  7. I love this! It has so many details and it's mysterious, but you can still understand everything that your trying to say.

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